


4 days and 4 months

by The_silent_smile



Series: Thomas and his brain demons (Sanders Sides) [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Crying, Everyone Needs A Hug, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mild Gore, Morality | Patton Sanders Tries, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Neglect, Permanent Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22504426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_silent_smile/pseuds/The_silent_smile
Summary: After a fight, Roman goes on another quest to the imagination. After four days, Patton goes after him. Just to find that the issues might lay deeper than a simple feud
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Thomas and his brain demons (Sanders Sides) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618735
Comments: 12
Kudos: 138





	1. The finding

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER/SQUICK WARNING: Crying, Screaming, Mention of abandonment issues, neglective friends mention. (If there’s some I missed, please point them out to me (: )
> 
> Based on a request made by ragindumpsterfiremess on Tumbllr

Patton had never been in the imagination before. He’d always thought it was kind of scary in there; With all of the dragons and witches and combinations of the two. Trolls lurking in caves and goblins glaring from behind trees.

He’d taken Roman his sword with him. The weapon laying heavy and unfamiliar in his hand as he stepped through the gates that lead him into an open field.

When looking back he saw how the door had disappeared.

The only reason as to why he wasn’t alarmed by this, was because of Remus telling him that this would happen and that he if he simply wished for it to open up again, would see it appear right in front of him the moment the thought crossed his mind.

Questing wasn’t really Patton his thing. And the large shoulder bag he’d taken with him cut into his shoulder slightly as he walked, the bandages and sandwiches and cookies and waterbottle moving around as he walked up a small hill, looking out over a forest, the leaves on the trees a bright green that sparkled as if the sun was hitting raindrops. Though when looking around he found that it hadn’t rained and everything was dry a pleasant temperature and humidity.

“I do get why he likes it here. It’s very pretty” he said to the air and continued to put on a song on his phone. Roman would like it, that he was certain of.

He hummed along while he followed the path, swinging his arms as the soft beat played, the sword on his back making a small clanging noise as it ticked against the bag now and then.

The sun was high even though he’d come there in the late evening, the temperature just right for the clothes he was wearing and the grass he was walking on looked so soft he was tempted to take off his shoes to feel it under his feet. A small smile slowly creeping onto his face as he looked around.

It really was nice. They should just make themselves a home in here! A little cabin or a house with big windows and a garden. Oh, how wonderful that would be!

“Sir? What are you doing in the forest all alone?”

A small boy, he couldn’t be older than eight or nine, waved at him in greeting before running up to him. Patton wanted to coo at the little cape the kid was wearing and vaguely thought about how he should off brought some ‘period typical clothing’ as he knew that the imagination tended to be more dark-ages or renaissance based.

“Oh, I’m looking for my friend! Do you know where a Prince might be wandering around in these parts buddy?”

The kid made big eyes and stared up at him for a solid ten seconds before answering, seeming in awe that he even knew a Prince.

“If he’d be anywhere he’d be in the castle, sir! It’s in my village actually, would you want me to take you there?”

“Sure little guy.”

Patton found it endearing. How easily this kid trusted a stranger. He’d find it a dangerous habit in any other situation. But the imagination seemed nice and Thomas had always had a knack for seeing the best in people. He probably had made whoever was in this little world super nice as well.

Only a short walk and the forest, which Patton thought to be way bigger than this, cleared up to reveal a small village, the houses built on a hill, the top of it crowned with an impressive castle.

“Sir, if you do find the Prince, could you ask him if he could come and defeat the trolls that are haunting our village at night? They keep taking our chickens, sir.”

Patton promised the kid that he would, smiled at him and, after dropping him off by what he’d said was his parent’s house and giving him one of the two cookies he’d packed, he started on his way towards the castle.

The structure was made out of large white bricks and sported an impressive amount of stone statues lining the walls, monsters and goblins and ghouls and evil creatures all standing as if about to attack. It would have been pretty wasn’t it for that fact that Patton quickly found out how lifelike they looked. It gave him the creeps.

He decided on not going into the castle just yet as he’d heard that the Prince would return from an important mission that day.

Instead, he spends his time going to the carnival. All kinds of stands and entertainers were all cramped together on the market place. Joyful music being played by a few people giving it all an even more fun and relaxed atmosphere. He’d bought himself a lollipop and was trying his best to win a stuffed bear for Virgil to bring home when the music suddenly stopped and the ball he’d just thrown to hopefully knock some cans of the table froze in mid-air.

It was incredibly quiet, so quiet that he could easily hear the sounds of two leather boots scraping over the gravel. The person wearing them adjusting his stance.

“Roman! I’m so glad to-” he stopped then, having finally turned around.

The Prince was standing in the middle of the carnival, long red cape barely touching the ground, hood down, hair a mess, clothes dirty with- was that blood? And the sword, a longer and definitely way heavier one than the one Patton had on his back, in his hand, the tip resting on the ground.

“Roman what-”

“You’ve got thirty seconds to explain to me what you’re doing here.”

“I-I came to get you…” Patton said slowly, eyes not leaving Roman his face, staring openly as the Prince frowned as if the cheer idea of 'coming to get him’ was ridiculous.

“You’ve been away for so long and we were getting worried. And then Deceit came and said some things that gave me the heeby-jeebies about how you haven’t been feeling well and we wouldn’t want Thomas to be upset so I thought I would come and get you to-”

“Times up.” Roman cut him off with those simple words and turned around, marching past Patton, shoulders brushing and cape twisting around the moral sides arm before it was gone and Roman walked on.

It took Patton all of five seconds to compose himself and to start in a quick jog to catch up with the Prince who was stubbornly continuing on his path, a quick move of his hand and the people that he’d has made stuck frozen in time started moving again.

The Ball Patton had thrown, had knocked all of the cans over. Though he barely noticed the man in the stand shouting after him to pick his prize.

-

The pub was dark and quite stuffy. The fact that everybody in there was frozen in place didn’t help to lift the tension even the slightest.

“Roman what-” “I need you to leave.”

Patton reeled back as if he had been slapped, feeling the urge to grab for his sword almost. He’d never felt this unsafe in the Prince his presence. But then… He had never seen him like this before.

The conversation he’d had before leaving to go find Roman flooded back to him and now he actually grabbed for his sword, just for reassurance, he told himself. Just for reassurance.

It wasn’t an odd thing for Roman to go on a quest into the imagination. It was liberating, he’d said.

'to escape from reality is the best feeling you can imagine’ he’d said. Shushing Logan when he tried to explain that they, in fact, weren’t and never will be in reality as they themselves are imaginary.

This quest had been the same as any other to them all, though if Patton would’ve paid more attention he might’ve noticed the few things that made this one so very different.

There was the fact that, while he could conjure up any weapon at any given time in there, he always took his own sword with him.

Said sword was laying on the couch that time, the fatherly trait mindlessly picking it up. He had nearly reached the door that leads to Roman his room when he realised that it might be a bit odd for him not to bring it along.

Though he hadn’t thought of it then. Simply shrugged and put it on his bed for him to clean up when he was back in a days time.

Then there was the fact that he hadn’t told them goodbye.

There had been a fight. Or well, Roman had expressed his unease with the fact that Remus was now simply living in the same space as they were while the Prince was so obviously uncomfortable with it.

And while Virgil had stayed out of it, obviously agreeing with Roman but not wanting to be hypocritical, Patton and Logan had both scowled him for being overdramatic.

The whole ordeal had resulted in Roman agreeing with them, though the twitch in his right eye told Patton that he definitely was not fine with it and made for the fatherly trait worriedly watching Roman as he stomped off to his room.

A note on the fridge he’d found the next morning explained that the Prince had gone on one of his adventures. And Patton had sighed and put it on the counter thinking that he needed some time off. Childish, he thought. But acceptable.

It had been four days before they actively started worrying.

“Aren’t you guys worried for him? He’s never been out this long!”

“Oh pat, please. He’s an adult. Surely he can take care of himself.”

“Yes, I totally agree. Roman is so responsible.” Deceit chimed in. Rolling his eyes as if annoyed by the whole situation.

Patton could tell that he was worried though. They all were.

“He’s probably still mad at us for telling him to man up a little. While he did have a feud with his brother, it’s barely an excuse to start acting like a child.”

“Logan come on. I know you two don’t see eye to eye sometimes but that’s hardly-”

“You all know he’s not coming back right?”

Patton his head snapped to where Remus had just entered. The creative trait now leaning against the doorframe in a would-be seductive way if it were not for his overall persona and the fact that he was wearing bright green duck slippers.

“Why wouldn’t he come back?”

Now Logan sounded worried too, and even Deceit was frowning, still trying to act unbothered and failing miserably.

“That place changes you if you’re there for too long. We’ve tried it out before, nearly went insane from being there. Time is different and some things that might be normal here aren’t in there. 4 days is like 4 months in that hell hole. He must’ve completely lost his knickers by now.”

“I’m-I’m sure it’s not-” “He tries to constantly be a hero Padre-” Patton tried hard to not flinch at Remus using the nickname, remembering how it had become a go-to for Roman to use when addressing him. A pet name almost. “-which means he’ll try to save anything and everything. He’s either bleeding out somewhere due to injuries or gone completely mad because of how messed up it is there.”

“H-how about I go and take a peek in the imagination. Just see if I can find him. I’m - I’m sure he’s alright…”

Patton sounded anything but sure. But none of them was sure at that point, so they all agreed.

He’d assured himself that it wasn’t that bad and Remus had shrugged and told him that it was his funeral. A note slid under Virgil’s door informing him that Logan would make dinner that day and off he went.

-

“I’m not leaving you here Ro. You need to come with me. You’re- we miss you.”

“Do you now?”

He sounded so bitter. So… Not himself, that it physically hurt Patton to keep eye-contact. To not focus on-… That.

“Roman. Buddy. Come on. Come home with me okay? We’ll talk it out with Logan. I’m sure he’s seen his wrongdoing now and will gladly apologise.”

Roman scoffed as if he has said something crazy and took a jug out of the hand of a laughing man, the frozen expression giving the probably happy moment a sinister vibe.

“Do you really think this is about that fight we had? You think I’m so spiteful that I’d leave for months just because of some stupid fight?”

“I mean. I didn’t think you’d-”

“Do you really think that little of me?”

Patton reeled back again. That one hurt.

“I don’t, Ro,” He continued, voice soft, expression soft, everything about him soft.

“I think you got hurt and wanted a break for a bit and I think you lost your way in here. But that’s alright, we all have a bit of a breakdown from time to time. That doesn’t mean that your friends won’t try to pull you out of it.”

Roman looked as if Patton his words had physically hurt him, expression pained. “Why can’t you understand? It’s too late. You failed to keep me from drowning and are talking to a corpse. You failed to notice Pat. For months, you failed to notice. And I’m not mad at you I promise. But don’t come in here acting like a white knight when you’ve already failed me.”

Patton stared at him. Racking his brain to try and figure out what his friend meant. Months in here were mere days, Remus had said. So did he mean outside? But he had seemed fine when he was with them. He’d seemed happy… Right?  
-

“Roman, you coming down for dinner?”  
“I’ll skip this one Pat. I’ve got work to do. And besides, It couldn’t hurt to lose a few pounds, could it?”

Loud crashing noise and a frustrated scream. Patton rushing into the prince his room to find him on the floor, cradling his heavily bleeding hand, smashed mirror pieces around him.  
“Roman!”  
“I’m fine. Leave me be I’m fine.”  
“How could you be so clumsy! Look at the mess you’ve made of yourself! And the mirror! Now really Roman.”  
“Sorry.” He’d said, and looked away. Mumbling something under his breath that Patton couldn’t quite catch while fuzzing over the shattered mirror and the bloodied hand.

“Princey, may I say that you look absolutely wonderful today.”  
“Thank you Deceit.”  
“What he means, Roman is that you look like a hot mess. Did you even get any sleep?”  
“Had to finish a project. And you know how I can not rest until all of the work is done!.” He had sounded proud. Though Patton had not found it something to be proud of.  
“Roman. The work is never done. You know that.”  
“Exactly.” had been his response. And suddenly he seemed a lot less proud and a lot more tired.


	2. The breaking (and building up again)

“Why didn’t you say something?”  
“Oh didn’t I? What about the whole puppet episode Pat? And the many times I actually spoke out about it and you all acted like I hadn’t said anything? What about the shattered mirrors? You really believed that was an accident? How does somebody crash into a mirror and only their hand is hurt, Patton?”  
“It isn’t my fault that you were so vague about it! If you had just-” “I LITERALLY TOLD YOU I WANTED TO DIE AND YOU ACTED LIKE I WASN’T EVEN THERE!”

“When- when did you-?” “Five months, two weeks and one day ago. Though for you it would probably be one month right?”  
“You kept count?”  
“What else am I supposed to do to not go insane at the thought of all of my friends, my family, not giving a single FUCK about how I’m doing? Do you know how much it hurts Pat? To see your brother, somebody you’ve tried with all your might to not be like, get accepted so easily? Because I sure fucking do!”

He was crying now. Tears born out of anger and frustration rolling down his cheeks and all Patton wanted to do was to understand. Understand how it had gotten to this point. How they hadn’t noticed.  
“We don’t really enjoy his company you know. But I thought we should give him and Deceit a chance. We gave one to Virgil so-” “And that’s wonderful Patton. It fucking precious that you want to see the good in everybody. But with a person who tried to kill his brother multiple times in multiple ways. It might be good to ask the person that he’s been belittling his entire life how he feels about the whole thing. And please, for the love of God, don’t talk about accepting people when you all have been growing cold towards me and haven’t given two fucks about it.”  
“We haven’t-” “Yes you have. Now leave me alone.” Was the simple reply before Roman stood, putting the jug on the counter and storming out of the pub they’d been sitting in.

Patton followed him outside and was immediately hit by heavy rain and stormclouds turning the cloudless sky into a black and swirling mess.  
Shielding his eyes against the rain he ploughed forward, shouting after Roman who now only was a flash of red in the sudden darkness.

He chased after him through the market place. The people there, frozen in place. The rain clattering down on them seeming to melt them away slowly, crude, melting substance turning the happy faces into a horrifying scene.  
They exited the market place and ran through the village surrounding it. A dog, frozen as it chased after a stick that hovered in mid-air.  
Face and half of its body dripping away like melted plastic, no skull or any bones were visible. Almost as if they were figurines molten without a thought about the inner anatomy.

“Roman, please! RO-ROMAN!”  
No reply, the red flash getting further and further away from him. He’d never been the athletic type.

Suddenly he saw the boy from earlier, standing still like a statue, arm stretched forward (he must’ve been the one to throw the stick then, he thought) half of his arm was missing already, melted off, face unrecognizable, the only way Patton had been able to identify him so quickly being the clothes he wore.

“What the hell is going on here,” he asked himself between huffs of air, sides stinging, lungs aching and stumbling time and time again over small rocks and big branches.

It couldn’t have been this bad, could it? Roman hadn’t gone mad, had he?

Suddenly, he bumped into something, nearly falling to the floor and latching onto the thing to avoid crashing to the ground.

As soon as he registered that what he was grabbing onto was fabric, he jumped back, going to apologise before stopping mid breath as he realised that it was Roman he’d bumped into.

They were standing on the edge of a cliff, clothes sticking to the both of them, Roman’s cape swirling around him and the wind tugging at Patton’s clothes.  
“Roman, just talk to me!” he shouted, trying to be loud enough to be heard over the thunder and roaring wind. It barely sounded like a whisper.  
“We can talk this out! Don’t you think this reaction is a bit overdramatic?”  
“you really don’t get it to do you?” Roman spoke normally, but somehow his voice could be heard loud and clear over all the noise that nature crashing down around them was making.

A part of the cliff beneath them broke off and fell into the sea with a deafening sound and Patton resisted the urge to cover his ears in favour of keeping perfectly still, staring at Roman and trying to make eye contact.  
Roman looked away.

“You really don’t,” he said again, turning away, facing whatever lay beneath the cliff. Patton couldn’t see the water. Couldn’t see anything but darkness down there.

“It’s my job to be dramatic Patton. But this-” he waved his arms around, gesturing to everything around them, the melted trees a few meters back, the squirrel that was now barely more than a puddle that sat a few inches beside the creative trait. “-can barely be called an overreaction. ”

He finally turned around then, staring straight at Patton who, overwhelmed by the intensity of the gaze, was suddenly not so sure why he’d been wanting to make eye contact.

“Maybe it isn’t. But you do need to come back with me Roman.  
Remus told us what this place does with your mi-”  
“Oh did he? Since when does he actually care about where I am?”  
“Roman he’s your brother!”  
“And he’s wished me dead more times than I can count Pat. I’ve stopped trying to establish a normal relationship with him long ago.”  
“But he-”  
“Is evil. He’s a bad person. I know you want to see the good in everyone but some people are just bad people. No matter how many chances you give them they’ll keep disappointing you over and over again because they’re just born that way. And even if you try your very best to include them they’ll just cut you off, they’ll tell themselves that you don’t really care about them and they’re RIGHT.”  
“This isn’t about Remus anymore.”  
“YES IT FUCKING IS!”

Roman’s voice sounded strange. Shaking with rage and repressed tears. But he also had the same voice Virgil would get when extremely anxious. Two voices speaking over each other, mixing and not quite matching.

“We’ll try and make it work Roman I promise. Please just come home with m-”  
“THIS IS MY HOME!”  
“Please stop shouting.”  
He was shaking now. They both were, though Patton wasn’t sure that the creative trait was doing so because of the cold clothes sticking to him.  
“Roman I just want to understand. Why stay here? Why not just come back with me?”  
“BECAUSE- Be-because at least here…Here they actually care about me.”

“Roman they’re-they’re not real…”  
The Prince let out a sigh and turned away again, facing the emptiness beyond the cliff, wind violently tugging at his cape and hair.

“I don’t care Pat. It’s better than real people pretending to care. It’s better.”  
“But-” he went to step closer, though reeled back when another piece of the cliff broke off, Roman now standing on the very edge.

“-but this place hurts you, Roman. I can’t- It won’t get better like this. I mean… Roman, what happened to you? You’ve–you’ve changed so much can’t even–who are-… What happened to your face?”

He hadn’t meant to ask. Not at that moment. Maybe not ever if Roman wouldn’t have acknowledged it. And now he found that, as soon as he’d said it, it seemed like the worst possible thing he could’ve mentioned.

Roman turned around slowly. The bad side of his face, the side Patton asked about, facing him first.

The left side of his face was burned horribly, skin looking as if it had melted of rather than simply scorched. It reminded him a lot of the melting people and animals they’d passed as he chased the Prince to this place. Left eye a startling white.

Thunder crackled above them, the cliff creaked as if it was moments away from falling into the emptiness that lay beneath. Roman looked even closer to completely falling.

“I did.”

It then occurred to Patton that the twins could both manipulate the imagination at will. Everything in there could be bent and broken. Created and destroyed if only they wanted to.  
At the same time, he realised that this meant that every time that Roman had come back hurt from his adventures, bleeding out on the couch or arm in a sling. Bruises ribs and broken noses. Had all been caused by monsters he thought up himself.

“Roman. Roman, please step back from the edge.”  
“It’s not dangerous if I don’t want it to be.” the Prince said a sick kind of glee in his eyes. Seeming to understand that Patton finally got it.

“Roman please, for me.”  
“And why would I own you favour? Any of you? After ignoring me and all that I stand for time and time again, you really expect me to listen to you?”  
“Roman-” Patton was crying now, still shaking, still hopeless and still inching away from the cliff.  
“What would I get out of coming back Patton? You’ve all made clear I’m not wanted there. Why would it be any better now.”

That stung. Not only because the words were an echo of the explanation Virgil had given them when he’d ducked out, but because he sounded scared.  
Roman sounded like a scared child, just wanting the comfort of knowing that he’d be safe but not able to believe it when somebody promised him just that.

All of the pain was self-inflicted. The bruises and cuts and stab wounds were an elaborate way of self-harming and it hurt him to the core to know that Roman felt as if it was needed. As if he deserved it.

“Roman, step off of the cliff. Let’s talk this through while we’re inside,” he said, reaching out to him. Offering his hand, offering a chance. An opportunity.  
Roman stared at him in silence. And Patton wasn’t quite sure if it were tears or simply the rain that streamed down the creative trait’s face.

After what felt like an eternity, a shaking and ice-cold hand slipped into his own, the cliff behind them breaking into pieces and falling down and down and down. He couldn’t hear the impact.

And while he grabbed onto the hand, pulling the heavily shaking Roman into a tight hug, he felt as if they were still on the cliff. Inches away from the edge, so very close to shattering themselves, plummeting into darkness.

“I don’t want to hurt again Pat.” came Romans voice, barely a whisper and so very fragile.  
And Patton squeezed him extra tight and wished for the door that would let them leave the imagination to appear in front of him.  
And as the door slowly materialised behind Roman, Patton buried his head in the prince’s shoulder, not caring about the wet cloth sticking to his skin, the cold that ran bone-deep and made the both of them shiver. The fear that made them shiver so much harder. And the Prince clung to him as if he was a lifeline.

“Come on Ro. Let’s get you home.”

Patton opened the door with a quick wave of his hand.  
And they stepped through, Roman visibly deflating as soon as they were back in the familiar hallway.

“I’m going to let you go now, okay Ro?”

Slowly, so very slowly, he released his arm from their death grip on Roman’s cape. And as he pulled away, he could see how the Prince was concentrating, face pinched as the wounds slowly melted away.

“It’s not gone, is it?”  
“No,” came the answer, a deep sigh leaving his friend who, now that they were out of the imagination, was all tugging sleeves and shifty eyes. Refusing to make eye contact.  
“I will it out of sight. But it’s still there. The scar will be aswell. All of them are.”  
“Can I… Can I see?”  
It sounded so strange. Something reserved for when you’ve caught a glimpse of a cut on somebody their arm or if somebody is showing an image on their phone.  
And as Roman nodded carefully, face pinched again before he, after glancing at Patton to see if it was alright, took off his shirt, the fatherly trait found that it was very much like the first scenario.

A variation of an uncountable amount of wounds littered the prince’s body. Variating from burn marks to stab wounds to a slash that seemed way to near to his throat for Patton his comfort. Hands and arms littered in smaller scars from thornbushes and smaller creatures their teeth. A few large, tooth-shaped once indicating a nasty bite from what Roman told him was the dragon witch.

“Roman… Ro, you need to be more careful.”  
“I don’t want to be.”  
And there lay the simple root of the issue. The truth sprawled out in front of him, bare and open like shattered glass. And picking up the pieces to glue them back together would be an impossible job.  
But maybe they could build it up again.

“Try to be okay? I’ll make sure you’re well prepared next time you go out.”

It would never be whole again. And the cliff might never be too far out of sight,

“I’d like that Pat. I really would.”

But maybe that’s was alright for now. They had their glue, and some shards were easily fixed.

“Now. Come on then. Let’s get you cleaned up and into bed champ. We’ll talk in the morning.”

And slowly, slowly but steadily, they inched away from the cliff.


End file.
